no clear explanation...

hopefully it doesn't take events like today at virginia tech to break my silence. i felt compelled to write after learning about the horrific details of this historic massacre and what better place to do this than good ol' blogger. certainly this is no time for jokes but i'm sure anyone who used to follow my blog would understand the irony.
i've just like every other american (or human being for that matter) that's been enveloped in the news channels, trying to understand how our great nation continues to find ways to make the front page news, and how each time we succeed i am even less surprised. the latest stories are still being corroborated on how everything unfolded today but it would appear at this point that the violence was a result of relationship matters, considering the first victim was an ex-girlfriend.
i'm sure i'm not the only one who continues to have shades of the columbine shootings passing through my head. in fact, i believe the media has already beat this comparison to death.
yet for whatever reason i'm reminded of the young girl named rachel that was murdered in littleton, colorado. there were of course many kids that lost their lives that day but one in particular seemed to really capture the attention of the news correspondents. rachel was the victim that was asked if she believed in God before she was killed by one of the trenchcoat mafia's faithful leaders. if you'll recall, rachel made it very clear that there was a living God and He was in control of everything.
the reason i even bring this up today is because it's events like today that launch even the most devout Christians into what i refer to as a "faithquake." people often begin (rightfully so) asking God where He was when all of this was taking place, and why lives were not spared. i used to have a less mature perspective on this and would quickly join the skeptics in time of national crises, however now i have learned that God doesn't necessarily create these unlikely events. God make it very clear that He is the Creator and is aware of every intimate detail of our lives, even so far as every hair on our head (biblically speaking), yet we were given the freedom of choice (or free will), at which point the Fall of Man took place in the Garden of Eden. from that time forward we have become but broken people in need of a healer and savior. many people believe in God and might perhaps arrive at their spirituality through a different vehicle than Christ. it's not my place to judge anyone. in fact, i'm more interested in people taking notice that we are a nation in ruin and we have no chance of prospering without some serious miracles. i personally know miracles to only be available through prayers answered; mine, yours, and our neighbors. my hope is that today we all at least agree on the fact that we need to come together and build a united front against senseless violence.
none of this is truly meant for a platform, rather i have a heavy heart knowing that there are several parents out there today that lost their children to the hands of one (allegedly) person who chose to put their needs in front of his victims' needs.
being a new parent of the past few years i can more easily relate to what it MIGHT feel like to no longer have that precious time with your children. i can't imagine life w/o BJ at this point, nor do i even desire for a moment to know what that truly feels like. it might be the only true way to understand what those families might be feeling, yet i can honestly say that slow self-torture sounds more appealing than harm done to my son.
even if prayer is not your pathway to solace, please take the necessary time out of your coming days to reflect on what happened today and the impact this will have on our society going forward. i know that sitting idle is just not acceptable if we truly aspire to be a better place for our next generation.

BJ is running around and keeping tabs on him is a sport in and of itself. i continue to enjoy all my time with him, even the most challenging moments. they all have purpose, indeed.
since he turned 2 he's been spending more nights with me and will soon be on a regular rotation of weekend overnights.

i've still be very taken back by my family's lack of good fortune in the health department, including but not limited to my own. i'm coming around but slowly. my immediate family has made progress as well. hopefully things will be back to some form of normalcy in due time.

my company has been making cuts for some time now but none more serious than these recent months, where over 17,000 jobs have been displaced. i haven't been directly affected yet but it certainly feels like my days are numbered. needless to say, i've still been looking around with a very watchful eye on my next step(s).

i go back and forth with respect to healing from my separation. it's quite difficult to honestly let go when i have very little desire to admit the permanence of everything. in fact, i heard my ex say for the first time this past week that she admits keeping herself extremely busy these past few years so she wouldn't have to face the reality of the situation. she will soon receive her masters, which she's been pursuing for quite some time, and honestly i couldn't be more proud for her. at the same time, i know she realizes that will mean much more time on her hands and in turn the opportunity to feel the impact what is seemingly gone. nobody (least of all me) is willing to say that some form of relationship repair is completely impossible but highly improbable is something we would both agree on without hesitation. nevertheless, i am blessed to have somebody who truly supports and encourages the relationship i have with BJ. for that i am eternally grateful.

everything with TWOFIVESIX has been going very well. me and the guys continue to pursue appropriate progression wherever possible, all the while spending a great deal of time in the studio, in pursuit of the next record. at this point it would appear a late summer street date might not be too ambitious but we'll have to see what comes of things. shows have been sparse as of right now since most of our efforts have been spent on writing/recording, however we've managed to play enough to supplement the investment of studio time. festival time is around the corner and i anticipate being much more involved with the gigs by june/july. you can keep abreast of all the latest by visiting our website.

i suppose that's probably enough for a night, although it likely does very little justice to the last several months that i've been MIA. in typical fashion i'll leave you with a few recommendations for your turntable.

check out the new sherwood record for some good summer fun music.... it's unapologetic pop the way it was meant to be, truly a great road trip selection.
i would also advise you to tune into the latest record by the shins. again, this is ideal for a bright sunshine type of day, windows down, hair blowing while traveling the high road.
perhaps this latest theme of music has invaded my soul due to the lack of great weather we've had, however as recently as this past saturday we finally saw our first real spring-like day. i'm left feeling very hopeful for the coming season.

'nite.