everyone needs their own lisa loeb experience

yeah, you remember that song "my name is luka" ...well i'm convinced that we all need to feel like lisa must have felt when she wrote that song, or at least that we've had to be able to relate. it's not that i want people to feel like i don't exist. i've heard lisa say that she wrote that song when she was at a place in life that she felt lonely and unimpactful, a kind of "hey, remember me... how you doing" sentiment.
well, i seem to be in that place lately. it's similar to when you write 20 e-mails and hardly get one back. you wonder, hey... is this thing working? is anyone receiving this mail?
i figure the next thing in line is to post my banter online, in hopes that someone may notice and comment. it's not often i receive feedback but i'm not sure that's why i blog in the first place. to be honest, it's more of a release. it was actually prescribed as therapy a year or so ago, as a means to journal my feelings, in hopes it would give them life on screen instead of in my heart/head.
i still believe that can be good and all but it sometimes gets to the point where you feel as though your words are a bunch of pigeons let loose at the same time and they just need to fly onto a high rooftop and form some sense, so as to make your efforts seem somewhat purposeful. sometimes my pigeons find their way back to where they came so it ends up being a clusterfuk of sorts, never quite bringing harmony to the prose.
what i've found lately is also that i am a book out of print. not that i was ever in print but that i have all these thoughts and feelings and it just doesn't seem to make it to print, or ever even manifest into something concrete enough to call a book. the pages become scattered and i'm mostly spent picking them up and attempting to re-configure the mental puzzle within, and maybe even conquer it to some degree.
my life has always seemed to have a pretty fitting soundtrack though so somebody would be bound to make a killing if they could supply the cinematography to do it all justice. i could lace it with an amalgam of digital rhinestones, not to mention some classics that never age with time, long before the world even could delve outside of analog.
that's it, somebody reading this can help me construct the first scratch sessions of a soundtrack (because these things don't ever occur on one stroke)... i'm officially taking your ideas.

spinning in the media player at this very moment is emergency by the umbrellas, seems somewhat dramatic but potentially landing on a point.