a lesson on recording, metaphorically speaking...

my son BJ is going to celebrate his third birthday later this month, an event that seems to put an awful lot into perspective for me. it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that i'm shocked time has gone by this quickly. just like any other applicable cliche' i could insert here, i am truly amazed at how time hasn't once stood still since his birth. the moment he was brought into this world is the last time i feel a sense of that dramatic pause. you know, kind of like when you're reading a good book and the "reveal" is about to take place, or something like that. maybe its best i simply describe that moment as the first time i believe i felt God's hand reaching out to touch mine but i suppose some sappy romantic already trademarked that line so i concede. miracle - that about says it all.
as you know, it wasn't long after BJ was gifted to us that i was asked to agree to a divorce. among other things my precious son's birthday reminds me of, the lasting one is that a LOT has happened these past 3 years. it's safe to say i've been remastered, to borrow some audio engineer terms.
i could easily put a Christian spin on this and say that i had a re-birth of the Spirit and that would be true, however i want to attempt to explain things from a universal perspective as well, so as to not exclude anyone from relating to my experience. the best example i came up with in my pop culture sensibility is the aforementioned one - remastering.
a great majority of the beatles catalog is set for re-release this month and for the next several months leading into summer 2008. the process taking place here is a second (or third) hand take on hearing the material in its pure state and re-calibrating the sound to maximize its potential given our new technology that wasn't available during the time of the original recording. this process has happened hundreds if not thousands of times to some legendary works because somebody always seems to have the passion/desire to make something good sound better. before i tell you what side of the coin i tend to fall on, let me take a moment to clarify my analogy. i believe my soul needed some remastering at its inner core. i believe i needed somebody to work on my heart and help something good become better, if i could be so bold.
and because i wasn't prepared to hear sound and healthy advice given to me during my fall, it was like it wasn't my time to change. i do believe things happen in a natural order so perhaps my being was not in a state to receive counsel, which is about the equivalent of it not being available in the first place. the tools were not yet innovative enough to produce the best sound, sort of speak. you see the connection?
what a strange way to describe my the disconnect i felt in recent years you might say, right? perhaps this has something to do with a good book that i read lately - fargo rock city by chuck klosterman, a hilarious memoir of heavy metal bands and the impact they had on our lives in the mid to late 80s and early 90s. you might be surprised who/what the author considers heavy metal so don't be quick to dismiss this book recommendation. i don't make to many to begin with because of my lack of discipline and ADD when it comes to comprehension, however this one may serve you well. the author describes different sub-genres that i believe all of us have identified with at some point in our lives. it's really comforting to know that somebody else fell prey to how these rock gods (little "g") had a strong influence on their life, so much so that they led to some not so brilliant decisions. my guilty pleasure was def leppard and although they receive an honorable mention, the author formed an emotional alliance with guns-n-roses and motley crue (i have no idea how to add the little dots over the "o" and "u") :)
i don't know how many nights i wasted as a youth thinking about how i would make sweet love to some rock goddess while "love bites" permeated the air. yeah, its safe to say my destiny would prove quite different. maybe that's not such a bad dream to have not had come true now that i think about it. who knows, i might have been a completely different kid if i was quick to score big, and it didn't get much bigger than a kid's "Lita Ford" look a-like. minus the bleach blonde hair and glamorous makeup, Lita was kick ass, to borrow some vernacular from that era. throw some brown hair and a more natural look on her and most kids would have plastered their walls even more with her posters (i assume) and never left the house. Lita was a BAD girl and back then that was a GOOD thing. i don't suppose i've been fair to the other female temptresses of that day and age but it might have something to do with the fact that most of them were forgettable. the author of fargo rock city had a real fixation with Lita but it happened to be for all the opposite reasons i did, well at least with the exception of her less than angelic nature. we both agreed that was sexy and the right image to have back then if you were hoping to get noticed. as they say, those were the days. at the same time, thank God time moved forward.
back to that concept of time that opened this post... i never know what these streams of consciousness will lead to when i start them so obviously we got away from that for a few minutes.
i wanted to emphasize how i could have never figured on being where i am today after the "new normal" i was asked to accept years ago. i've known others that have had to heal from a broken relationship but first hand experience is like the difference between Saturn and Mars, polar opposites.
i've strayed from any degree of continuity in this post (as often becomes the case) but one statement i can confidently make is that i am truly blessed to have been given that second chance on life. here i sit three years later and i can look back in awe of the ways that BJ has literally filled my soul with more than i believe i could reciprocate, however many of you seem to challenge this contention. having spoken to some of you on this very topic, you appear to believe that i will find ways (and that i already have) to guarantee that BJ knows he is cherished and loved more then i believe may be possible. seeing that in words actually makes me tend to agree with you. this fact seems to favor my goal of love, learn, live, give, and leave a legend.

so... its time to get back to work, as this post served to offer a mid-morning break from the hustle of my agenda.
in case you're curious where i stand in the recording debate of old versus new, i have two ways of looking at it. both are likely what you expect i would say, further decreasing the possibility of me sustaining an unpredictable posture.
for the record (no pun intended), i favor the warm and tranquil sound of an analog '45 over digital production any day of the week when it comes to music that was created to be heard in that manner. rule of thumb here is that as we tend to use more synthesized and unnatural sounds, i don't believe vinyl is the medium of choice. however, give me an acoustic or symphonic (whether clean or distorted) array of musical instruments and it's no contest - i'd opt for the more natural and pure recording every time.
having said that, i'm obviously thankful (to re-visit my analogy) that somebody didn't feel my sound was good enough, or that my soul was not emitting pleasing enough harmony. this happens to be a very humbling experience that i believe all of us should endure, regardless of how our pride may want to intercede.
something tells me there may be another re-mastering in my future and so long as it is not as life-altering or painful as its predecessor, i suppose i welcome one and all.

may your re-mastering birth a new timbre that completely transforms the life you now live. whether this includes all your existing covetousness or not, trust that it is for the better and be open to whatever (old and new) engineer may desire to bless you, and ultimately the product that results from their (and your) labor of love.

peace.