going without a prophylactic...

Prophylactic: A preventive measure. The word comes from the Greek for "an advance guard," an apt term for a measure taken to fend off a disease or another unwanted consequence.

it wouldn't have been as interesting to call this post lack of insurance but that's my reference point. as of 11am yesterday i no longer have health insurance or benefits.

that's right, i am without full-time work at the moment.

anxious is an understatement but there's also an unpronounced peace with moving on from crown and the hurdles of my recent past. i'm temping a few places to make ends meet, all the while keeping my eyes close to the weekly listings and networking every chance i get.

BJ is the reason this fight is so worth holding onto and i simply must prevail, and i will.

few things here and there taking place that i'll resign to offering in linear form. here's the low down:

1. Invisible Children has ramped up their efforts to bring the longest standing war in Northern Uganda to a peaceful ending. i don't have much to give financially to the cause but i maintain deposits of time and energy as i'm able. you can stay abreast of the latest by visiting their site at http://www.invisiblechildren.com
some of you will recall the benefit concert i did awhile back and the impact we were fortunately able to have to this impoverished nation. i would encourage you to at least check out the progress and respond however you feel so moved.

2. i also have followed an effort called ToWriteLoveOnHerArms for quite awhile now. the main girl that the movement is based on is releasing a diary-style book in august. this is said to be a very gripping, honest, and realistic depiction of her experience with suicidal tendencies, self-harm, depression, etc. if i can manage a way to get a copy i will most certainly delight in the opportunity to become even closer to Renee's story than i already have felt. TWLOHA continues to do great things in preventing and responding to the harmful emotions that Renee and so many others have unfortunately experienced. definitely worth the time you spend should you choose to take a closer look. they can be found at http://www.twloha.com

3. sleeping at last is playing this friday and i'm pumped to catch back up to those guys. they are working on new material and should soon be releasing another LP, which i'm sure will be equally as entertaining as their first two.

4. my brother secretly purchased a copy of the red wings' stanley cup celebration dvd and had it delivered to me for my birthday. what a great surprise!@ the footage is a telling way to relive the hype of last season that ended in classic fashion. i'm positive i'll be watching this a time or two more to see if i might have missed something the first few go rounds.

5. mark from cool hand luke sent me their latest independent release and i was pleasantly shocked at the decision to return to their original sound. not their EP days as that would have been more a mix of screamo (if such thing exists) and punk. they have chosen to pay respect to the grittier days of straight up piano-fused rock. check out their website that is about to be re-launched for more details.


i'm sure there's more but i'm actually getting a small cramp in my wrist... strange. i'll close with a completely random suggestion:

practice safe sex.

directly unrelated but i didn't want anyone reading into my subject heading as advocacy for dropping the love glove. absolutely not, as you should always go into the action prepared.

listening to: chase the light, jimmy eat world - "dizzy" at the moment.

a note of encouragement...

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


this comes at a great time, when not knowing what lies ahead has proven to bring much anxiety. our dear RWE cuts back to the real focus - our heart.

in a time where i've once again led with passion and desire, it's comforting to be reminded that it's what's inside that truly matters.

transition afoot...

i'm likely staring down a career transition in the coming month or two, leaving me a little anxious but feeling also strangely content with things. anyone close to the situation wouldn't be surprised by this turn of events since it was really only a matter of time before the inevitable pendulum swung in the opposite direction. now, i don't exactly hurry up and wait but i'm not overdoing things either. i've attempted to find the right balance of faith and assertiveness. it would appear my search is currently revolving around more of the human services field, which again would be what most people expect from me. i have however taken an interest in project management so perhaps something more will come from that end. we'll see...

i recently landed at a new church. it had been almost four months and thankfully the journey concluded at a place where BJ and i have both found a great deal of spiritual growth opportunity. i don't recall whether or not i've mentioned much about the actual hits and misses during the past four months but there were several, actually too many to mention. it's a great feeling that i no longer have to spread myself thin, and we can enjoy making new relations with the church community of which we are now a part.

the remainder of my time lately, at least when i'm not attempting to make good on my obligations with crown and making attempts to interview as well, has been spent doing chores around the house. it's that time of year that i get a little anxious and go on a series of little cleaning episodes, or for those that know me quite well i suppose there really not that small, now are they...

it's been a rather indifferent few months in many ways but i don't necessarily feel that's a bad thing. sometimes we should just relish in the fact that things are not going wrong, as it would seem that this type of balance is often difficult to come by. in the past this is similar to the quiet before the storm but we've actually had enough physical downpour lately that i believe it may have rained enough literally, and a little more to cover this very metaphor i'm hoping not to face.

i'm thrilled with BJ but nothing new there. the latest thing i'm marveling over is simply his growing vocabulary and the ability to piece things together that you just don't think a 3 year old should be capable of at this point. BJ has become a little too obsessed with telling me that he "can't" do something that i've actually seen him accomplish more times than i care to indicate. i suppose it's only a phase but it reminds me of complacency, even though i know that's not his intention. it would be a small step in the right direction but if we could just get back to saying "i don't want to" instead... well, it's not much better because it often overlooks a good challenge but there's a better ring to it than the dreaded C word. who knows, might be a male thing, even though i've never really found myself to be much for heavy competition. i guess if we're honest there's always the fear of taking the "wanting the best for your child" thing a little too far and maybe this is BJ's way of helping me maintain some level of equilibrium.

still spinning the latest coldplay record, and you should if you're not.

maybe next time i check in i can tell you what a state of the art robot affectionately known as wall-e had to say, as BJ was promised we would partake.